I've had a terrible streak of disrupted sleep till last night and my nap this afternoon. no more silly, sleepy imagination, not a speck of doubt left in me. I couldn't be better.

I am getting headaches again though. I found the symptom, I need the cure.

but I'm not that desperate.

Codie is gone. I was away for a while, but now I'm home, trying not to hear how quiet it is without him here. my mind keeps tricking me into listening for the subtle sounds of floorboards or cracking joints. I could swear I heard his collar last night.

besides that, I found my wallet last night and I'm not letting drama stick to me. still job hunting. hopefully minimum wage dealies will be lookin for help when all the kids go back to school.

i had quite enough of today, till I got another job call.

it's funny how the wind blows.

and it blows that I can't find my wallet

turns out my heart is ruled by reason, and the need to have reasonable people handle it.

I've grown cold quickly, for me-- but there's not much more to smoulder on.

a month, at most
of wasted time
lavishing in the silt
fine and full of minerals
runny slip
glistening in the sun

anguishing
over every speck of filth
and
over every utterance
in the oppressive august air.

may I make it May again?